So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
