Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
