when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We left the knife in your bed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
