I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
