I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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