I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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