Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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