He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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