I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
