my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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