I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
