I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
