Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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