The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
