Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
