if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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