Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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