they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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