And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i drank out of a bidet.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
