They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
