I got chris browned last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
