you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
