After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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