big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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