There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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