You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
