dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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