When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
