From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
