Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
