I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
