If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize