A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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