Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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