As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
