awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
