Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
