hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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