A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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