Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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