How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
