We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm at about main and main street
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize