I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
