so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
