a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
