oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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