Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
