He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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