bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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