so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
