it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize