Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
