saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize