Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
