so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
