Screwed.edu
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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