just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I enjoy the company of your penis
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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