So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
