We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
