he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
